Vote Revile Britain!
An open letter to constituents from Jeb Stafford MP.
It has been my great honour to serve as your MP for Gratchley and Didsworth these past 18 months.
Although elected as your Labour MP in 2024, I then joined the Green Party under its new leadership. However, in recent months it has become clear that the Green Party is captured. The Green Party dances to the tune of Russian fossil fuel interests.
I have decided that I am no longer able to tolerate this situation, which is why today I have launched a new party: Revile Britain.
Some will say: vote Revile and get Reform, or even Restore. I get that. But a snap poll on BlueSky said 10% would vote Revile if a General Election were held tomorrow. Who’s splitting the vote now?
While Zionist cuck Polanski tiptoes across the floor with the proverbial Ming vase, Revile is clear what it stands for in a set of concrete policy announcements, set out hereunder.
Day one of a Revile administration will institute a three-week climate lockdown to be reviewed pending temperature checks to flatten the curve caused by the reckless and irresponsible use of fossil fuels by this Labour Government. As soon as our committee of world class climate scientists is satisfied with its checks, lockdowns can be lifted on a temporary basis to enable mosque attendance and other community activities.
Constituents will know that I have long said trains are racist. Due to the number of hate incidents taking place aboard UK rolling stock we will dismantle the railway system. Travel on foot will, however, be permitted within the local area.
We will put clear green water between Revile Britain and the oil industry shills infesting our public life.
Each community will be allocated a single wind turbine to cater for local needs while the national grid is dismantled. The grid contains so much valuable metal which can be re-purposed for culturally appropriate personal ornamentation and garden implements. Those high energy bills, falling on our doormats each month, will be a thing of the past.
Unlike other parties, we are entirely candid about behind the scenes discussions.
I have secured a personal commitment from Mark Carney to return at the end of his term as Canadian Prime Minister and to head up Revile Britain. Privately expressing rage that his ancestral homeland is falling prey to misinformation about climate and dismayed that there is now open talk about immigration, he wants to “finish the job”. In time, Carney will be instated as honorary UK president for life. His Majesty the King has let it be known that he is sympathetic to such an arrangement in the light of policy direction. Lord Hermer has been ringing us daily to urge us forward and we are grateful for his specialist input.
The legal system as it is will be abolished (apart from international law) and any local disputes will be settled under a new system modelled on sharia courts in the interests of efficiency. Baron Williams of Oystermouth is working on an implementation study.
As you know, our local University of Didsworth believes that many people in earlier times were non-binary and queer-identifying. In such cases appropriate pronouns will be etched on their gravestones, as they would have wanted.
To eliminate controversies and misunderstandings, history will no longer be taught in schools.
Public houses will be converted into safe spaces with soft play areas for adults. Any casual conversation will be monitored by AI. Let me be clear; only kindness will be allowed in public spaces.
To end our connection with Britain’s past, all oil paintings will be removed from public buildings on day one of a Revile administration.
We believe that the benefits of productive work are outweighed by the psychological damage it causes.
Regarding foreign affairs, we will renege on the Chagos deal and give the islands directly to China. The footprint of the new Chinese embassy will be expanded and the City of London Corporation sold to China for £1 to reduce economic inequality.
There will be no dogs.
People are calling us ‘far-Left’ and other such abusive terms. One agitator even referred to us as ‘Leninist Hobbits’. Be warned: we do not tolerate slander.
Gratchley and Didsworth, let us move forward!
Break with the past! Punish the present and erase the future of these wretched islands to ensure that it never happens again. Vote Revile Britain!
(Constituents may be aware that our local genderqueer Imam, Sherelle Abu Lenny Al Walsall, has left the Green party. Ze has launched ‘Recoil UK’ as a national party. Some are already talking of a merger of Recoil and Revile, but let me say this to you, Sherelle: our door is open; we’d love to have you on our team.)
Chris Larkin is the pseudonym of a commercial film-maker who lives in London.
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What fun! Thanks to Chris Larkin & the DS for that cheerful article. And add to that the real news about Chagos, by Guido Fawkes:
Chagossian First Minister Gives Trump Permission to Strike Iran From Diego Garcia – Guido Fawkes
You really have to hand it to the man for sheer cheek!
“First Minister of the Chagossian Government Misley Mandarin has given the US permission to strike Iran using Diego Garcia. He said from the Chagos Islands:
I love it when people do completely unexpected things, out of the blue. He is reportedly camped out with his dad and two others on one of the thousand islands of Chagos, where his dad was born.
Get out the popcorn! 🙂
You think it was in jest?
No, of course not! It’s wonderful to see Stalin Starmer & his whole Communist Labour Gang completely flummoxed by the very “ethnic minorities” they’ve been supporting against the White Man for decades.
And the White Man is cheering on the “ethnic minorities” for valiantly defying Stalin Starmer & his Communist Labour Gang.
This party appears to be the product of that well known think tank The Humiliation (UK) Foundation.
but the The Humiliation (UK) Foundation does not show up ( yet) in the Register of Charitees….
Give it time. It’s busy celebrating the arrival of a record number of fighting fit young men arriving on the south coast, all excited about the Green Party’s promise of free housing and universal benefit for illegals. Meanwhile the French are having fun with their £700MILLlON from the humiliated British taxpayer. Message from the UK Government to the public, suck it up.
Break with the past! Punish the present and erase the future of these wretched islands to ensure that it never happens again. Vote Revile Britain!
Great statement at the end of an enjoyable read. OTOH, one could as well call this “the hidden manifesto of the Labour party not even most of its members knew about”, ie, we are already governed in this way, just hampered a little by the unpleasant fact that reality isn’t infinitely malleable.
Phew! 😰 for a moment I thought it was serious. Just shows how bad things have become
It isn’t a joke. It’s completely serious, and that’s what makes it splendid!
See the article linked above for Chagossian First Minister Misley Mandarin’s full statement. He was democratically elected by the Chagossian people in the UK before he set off to storm the islands. Here’s a bit of it:
“Today, I stand not in exile, but on our own soil, as the democratically elected head of government of the Chagos Islands.
Let the world hear this clearly.
We are here.
We govern here.
And we decide what happens here.
For too long, decisions about Diego Garcia were made in distant capitals, without our voice, without our consent. That era is over.
Diego Garcia is not just a military base. It is a pillar of stability in the Indian Ocean. It protects trade routes, deters aggression, and helps preserve global security. These are dangerous times and so I must be absolutely clear ….”
Chris Larkin’s article was a joke, but the Guido Fawkes article on the Chagossian First Minister is not.
What a waste of space this article is, yes we need a bit of fun, but really?
Get a grip…
Remember the 1st law of Lockdown ; you must do them earlier and harder.