More Miscakes Made by Labour

It was always a treat when a classmate would bring in a birthday cake at primary school. The exciting build-up during the day and the teacher finishing the last lesson early to make time for the celebration felt like a reward for all the hard work put in throughout the day (colouring, running in the playground and assembling jigsaws). These childhood memories are unforgettable. And, although the portion sizes were small (after all, they had to split the cake between at least 30 children, plus the teachers, of course, who always seemed to get the biggest slices), it was exciting and special for the pupils.

This cherished moment, however, is now for the chop thanks to the Labour Government, which seems intent on taking fun away from anywhere it finds it. Birthday cake is set to be banned from nurseries and primary schools as part of updated Government health measures. New guidance issued by the Department for Education discourages parents from allowing their children to bring in sweets, cakes or other confectionaries to mark a birthday. Instead, schools have advised pupils to bring in ‘treats’ such as a fruit platter to promote healthy eating habits, or non-edible gifts such as bubble kits or stickers.

The DfE’s new Early Years Foundation Stage nutrition guidance, released this term, reads:

Many families like to celebrate their child’s birthday and other special events by bringing in a cake or sweets to the setting to share. This can mean that some children are eating these unhealthy foods several times a week.

The measure applies specifically to children in the early years of education, aged nought to five, and it has already prompted a number of schools across the country to fall in line. One primary school in Harrow has announced it will follow the recommendation, encouraging parents to bring in gifts such as stationery. Brunel Field Primary School in Bristol reminds parents to be “inclusive” by choosing vegetarian, halal and gluten-free products, while discouraging cakes and party bags. They know how to have a good time.

Young children typically have a high metabolism, and an occasional slice of cake is not going to harm them. Besides, many school lunch menus include foods such as pizza, burgers, fried chicken and chips and also desserts like chocolate concrete and custard. If the Government were genuinely concerned about promoting ‘healthy eating’, this would seem a more sensible place to start – though whether the kids would still eat the food offered them is another matter.

This is not the first time we have seen attempts by authorities to dictate to us what we should and should not eat. Last Easter, an NHS medical expert advised that people should only eat a third of a chocolate egg at one time. In the London Underground, various adverts for junk foods considered ‘unhealthy’ (such as cheese) were banned as the public clearly can’t be trusted to make sensible choices once they see tempting images on the train. And from this month, TV commercials showing foods high in sugar and fat will not be allowed before 9pm as part of efforts to tackle childhood obesity. This is all added to the ‘sugar tax‘ that has hiked the cost of fizzy drinks or led to them being stuffed with artificial sweeteners – yet with no apparent impact on obesity levels.

The Government should get out of the business of telling us what we should and should not eat. Whilst healthy eating is obviously important for maintaining a good lifestyle and nutritional guidance is welcome, a line needs to be drawn at imposing restrictions – especially on birthday treats. Doesn’t the Government have more pressing concerns than banning a slice of cake for schoolchildren? How about tackling the high rates of illiteracy in schools across England, where a shocking 38% are falling short of expected standards in reading, writing and maths.

In the meantime, we all live in fear of which of life’s simple pleasures Labour will look to ban next. Enjoy them while they last.

Jack Watson is a 17 year-old schoolboy in Year 12. You can read his Substack about following Hull City FC here. Follow him on X here.