No Gas and Air For Women Giving Birth in the Eco-Utopian Future
Anyone who might have doubted the zealotry of eco-warriors of our age and the depth of their totalitarian inclinations need only turn to a ‘Marriage Diary’ published in the Telegraph. It’s written by a woman who is now pregnant after 10 years of marriage to her “self-confessed eco-warrior husband”. Indeed, his climate credentials were why she married him in the first place.
While it had never been top of my agenda, I was happy to follow his example – swapping all our cleaning products for eco-alternatives, using our bikes to get around and then more recently swapping out the diesel car for an electric one. Now I’m pregnant with our first child and I’m sure we’ll raise our children with the same values.
However, at a recent antenatal class, when we learnt about baby delivery options, my husband announced that there was no way I would have gas and air during labour because of the impact on the environment.
I laughed out loud when he said it, assuming he was joking. The look on his face told me that he wasn’t. He shoved his phone at me to show me an article about the Scottish Government writing to the NHS about the impact of greenhouse emissions from Entonox, which is commonly known as “gas and air”.
He smugly told me that they were urging for greater awareness of the effect it had on the planet and wanting pregnant women to play their part in tackling greenhouse gases and climate change.
Needless to say you could cut the atmosphere in our antenatal class with a knife. Like me, people assumed he was joking at first. I tried to stay calm as I pointed out that, while I was in labour, I would do anything I needed, and indeed wanted to do, to make the whole process easier. He objected vehemently to this and didn’t back down. In fact he seemed insulted that I would put myself, and indeed our child, before the environment.
He claims Entonox use in Scotland is equivalent to 18,000 transatlantic flights. I lost my cool and stormed out, outraged that he won’t prioritise me, and that he embarrassed me in public.
Anyone fancy betting on how long that marriage will last? Is this a sign of the eco-utopian vision of the future? Not only no pain relief for women giving birth, but also no medical treatment? On the plus side, perhaps this sort of patriarchal ‘green’ Handmaid’s Tale stance will expose the sheer lunacy of the climate alarmist culture and the psychological and personal trauma it’s creating. It might also send a large part of the female vote elsewhere.
Definitely worth reading in full.
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Is this a guess the caption competition?
Is the caption, perhaps, something like: ‘Are you sure you know what you’re doing down there, doctor?’
If you touch me again I’ll kill you!
Feel sorry for her marrying a low IQ Eco fascist retard. But as the saying goes, play stupid games, win stupid prizes. What did she expect? I wouldn’t be surprised if he goes on to say that the baby once born needs to be murdered – to save Gaia.
No abortion and she mentions raising “our children”. There was an expectation of more. Maybe the husband had already lost at least one argument.
On the other hand, it does seem to be the drain on resources by Someone Else that is the issue for those who engage in this zealotry.
It is a surprise he did not demand they have no children in the first place since the eco nut jobs usually adopt an extreme Malthusian world view that there are too many people.
Christ on a bike! Maybe when he’s pushed a watermelon out of his penis, sans analgesia, he might have a better idea of what is in store for his partner. Personally, Entenox just made me hurl and did nothing for pain relief. I’d recommend a water birth, if at all possible. It’s a win-win as it’s effective for pain relief and will maybe keep him happy, if she insists on staying in a relationship with an eco-nutter cult member. You just know he’s going to insist on going the whole terry-toweling nappy route, don’t you? 😮
Whut? With all that bleach? Never! Shredded wood, that’s the ticket! Make a Man out of him – or her.
He’ll probably complain about her using too much water in the birthing pool.
More than likely. She could always tell him that if he fishes out the floaters she’ll cook him up her placenta in return. I’ve heard if you finely chop it and stick it in a spag bol you can’t tell the difference.🍝🤤 A nice Chianti to wash it down, job’s a good ‘un!🤢
Oh Mogs your a tonic! 👍
Ans cold water of course, even a warm swimming pool is too much for King Charles.
Just surprised he could get arousal as surely he’s suffering from climate anxiety. I’m not a lady so can’t possibly understand what the requirements are but surely bed wetting over co2 isn’t an attractive quality. Yr right btw Terry towels are the absolute worst, my wife suggested it and I just said let’s make life as easy as possible.
They need to bring back The Fast Show with Dave Angel the Eco Warrior.
Give him some kidney stones to pass. According to my nurse at the time she would rather another baby than another stone. The babies were bad enough. I cannot possibly comment, but I am so glad I have a frank and beans.
He lost his eco-street cred by siring a child in the first place. They are orders of magnitude more impactful on the environment than a few whiffs of Entonox. Total hypocrite.
Maybe he didn’t want the kid and this is his way of getting back at her. What a jerk, whatever is going on.
Divorce incoming. I hope not for the kid’s sake, but yeah.
Personally as long as the kid goes with mum I think divorce is probably best for them.
Dread to imagine what that kid might go through with a dad like that
Having attended the conception of my children – if you see what I mean – I also was brave and attended their birth.
I say brave… I didn’t even complain when Mrs SoR dug her fingernails into my hand during the process of childbirth. I did play the potential conversation through in my head and decided it was best not to mention the discomfort at the time.
We men know nothing about birth. We think it ‘hurts’, I don’t think we can conceive how much..
Any man preaching to a woman on this topic should first have their nuts secured in a vise for several hours, with the jeopardy of someone arbitrarily turning the screw up, starting at random intervals and then increasing in intensity and frequency for an unspecified duration.
There’s no way I could do that. Women rock.
To be fair, with the first one it’s a bit late by the time you realise that you are going to feel like everything below the waist is being rent asunder. Respect to women who go for a second one and willingly put themselves through it again though.
I rarely try to express my emotions in writing or write about other people’s emotions – I’m no poet.
I recall my sense of helplessness as I watched the woman I love in obvious pain and distress giving birth to our children and the awe in me that the process caused. I was also astonished that such a thing was not only possible but routine for the midwives.
I also remember my fury as the door to the corridor was held open for a, no doubt, important conversation while Mrs SoR was at the very moment of one of the deliveries.
And then the awe and astonishment again each time as I held our baby.
It’s not only that part but the next 20-30 years that we all need to stay the course for: I try to compare it to a cross ocean voyage where a captain and a first mate are needed for the crossing (storms, calm, doldrums…sunny sailing, boring sailing but you do need to keep going) and it is so not fair if one of the party decide to give themselves permission to bale out on the journey leaving the other as single handedly steering the course and raising the chilld/children….Don’t bale out, you are the grown ups.
For me (us, I think) it was the dawning realisation as Mrs SoR swelled that we really were going to have a baby (our first) and that our lives could never be the same.
When the kids left school: Great, we can now take adult themed holidays in school term time! A brief respite. Grandchildren (reasonably) soon arrived and they need child minding while their parents work and make ends meet.
In a decade or so it’s not unimaginable that we’ll be great grandparents… then, at last, we can revert to irresponsibility.
Children: both a joy and a royal pain in the a*se. It’s a grown up thing to manage.
Unless he’s willing to pee a walnut from his urethea, then he has no saying how his (soon to be ex) wife should give birth.
Post-divorce, hopefully her nurture will expunge his genetics.
Anyone who quotes the Scottish Government on anything should be treated with extreme caution and suspicion, especially if it has anything to do with pretending to save the planet. Infact you could treat all western governments with the same contempt, except possibly a Trump one. These United Nations lackey parasites looking for a gold star on their lapels from the One World Government people at Davos put their silly climate change agenda before the people who vote for them and even as it seems here before their own wife and would rather she suffered pain and misery while giving birth so they can claim they are saving earth from something they will mostly not have a clue about. This reveals something very important about these eco fundamentalist idiots. They are oblivious to the fact they are part of a pseudo scientific cult that ignores all facts and reason and has a world view based entirely on faith and emotion. Pretty much like all religions. Similar to the religious nut jobs that deny their child a blood transfusion?
There’s one born every minute – cretinous eco warriors I mean!
Get a divorce luv.
The very wise (in his narrow view) eco-husband should have his dangly bits put in a vice which is slowly, or not so slowly, tightened until he asks for pain relief. He has no idea of the pain women go through in birth, nor do I, as a man. I have a rough idea what it would be like with my dangly bits in a vice so give me plenty of entonox and bugger the climate!