Sadiq, Maaate, What Were You Thinking?

Sadiq Khan has launched a helpful new campaign showing us how male banter about women’s football inevitably leads to rape and murder.

The good news is, these horrific crimes can be averted by one of your mates saying “Maaate”, thus stopping you in your tracks before your critique of female pundits degenerates into genocide.

Confused? Well, to quote Yoda, you will be.

Khan yesterday released an interactive video consisting of a poorly scripted and laughably wooden scene wherein a few lads are hanging out, playing FIFA, and, of course, saying misogynist things.

Well, more precisely the white guy says the awful things, because of his inherent evil, while his non-white mates shake their heads in feminist dismay.

We are given the opportunity to click a button labelled “MAAATE”, thus ending the horror of a white man saying women aren’t good at football. If you click at the very first off colour remark, the video ends and text appears onscreen saying “Good work, you stepped in immediately”. Yay. You just ended toxic masculinity, and women are now safe.

However, if you let the whole video play out, eventually a dark synth drone sound starts to build, and finally the (evil) white bloke chastises you for not stopping him earlier. He turns to the camera and says (you guessed it) “Maaate”.

It is one of the worst things I have ever seen. Possibly the absolute worst. It’s shocking that it actually got made. Someone should have stepped in and said “Maaate” the second it was proposed.

One of the many absurd parts is where the bad naughty white man criticises women’s football (which another one of the men inexplicably calls “soccer”, as if the ad was written by an American AI program), and is quickly informed by one of his cuck friends that the Women’s Euros was actually “pretty decent”. This confirms my claim that one is scarcely allowed to criticise women’s football in our current climate, and in Khan’s London it’s not clear that it is even legal to do so.

The text underneath the video offers further anti-male rhetoric. Under the heading “What is misogyny?” we are given a list of 10 bullet points. The final one is:

“Controlling, confident and self-centred behaviour, as well as competitive.”

Really? Being confident and competitive is now misogyny? Aren’t these just healthy traits of any functioning male? Still, I suppose they were struggling to round it up to 10.

You’ll also note that the sentence is barely coherent. Presumably because this is low IQ garbage pumped out by useful morons.

Under the heading “What are some common inappropriate phrases to challenge?” we learn that “Boys will be boys” is off the menu, as is “My ex-girlfriend is crazy”. Which begs the obvious question: what if your ex girlfriend genuinely was a crazy ass hoe? In Khan’s new hellscape, such language is condemned as a “tired stereotype”.

In an even weirder twist to this already very weird turn of events, comedian Romesh Ranganathan has teamed up with Khan on his propaganda campaign, and recorded a strange simulacrum of a stand-up comedy set to promote the message.

On a stage with a microphone and a live audience, Romesh delivers a stilted lecture (and could it be any other way?) urging us to interrupt our mates with the non-word “Maaate” whenever they stray off course by criticising women’s football, or objecting to their wife having sex with her boyfriend (I’m paraphrasing).

This presents a slight problem for me. My list of comedians I despise is longer than Khan’s list of banned phrases, but Romesh has always been perfectly nice to me. Still, in the interests of journalistic integrity, it has to be said that this fake stand-up set is one of the most disturbing atrocities ever visited upon the western world.

Clearly, you can’t turn a crude public safety campaign into stand-up comedy. All it does is further emphasise the inhuman behaviourism of the original advert.

Which is what this all is, by the way. Much like the dreaded ‘Nudge Unit’, so appallingly exploited during the Covid era, the text under the original ‘Maaate’ video assures us:

“Say maaate to a mate has been developed in conjunction with behavioural scientists following in-depth research with men in London of different ages and backgrounds and in a variety of different settings.”

I suppose it’s nice of them to tell us how we’re being manipulated.

Being generous, all this has perhaps been generated by an attempt to address genuinely evil behaviour from a very small number of men. As the Independent explicitly states in its piece about the bizarre campaign: “Since the murder of Sarah Everard by police officer Wayne Couzens in 2021, the Mayor has faced scrutiny about women’s trust in the police and their safety in the city.”

But the idea that this ridiculous interactive video will stop a single woman being assaulted is of course absurd.

These crimes are not being committed by football lads who take their banter a bit too far, and many internet wags have taken to Twitter to point out the more fruitful demographic avenues Khan might pursue in the goal of eradicating abuse against women.

The whole campaign exists in the context of our feminised culture that sees masculinity itself as the original sin. Confidence and competitiveness are to be somehow stamped out of men, via embarrassing videos and hectoring press releases (though the exact same traits are, oddly, to be celebrated in women). And, as is so often the case now, innocent people bear the brunt of the demeaning harassment, while the actual criminals sit back and laugh.

This phenomenon has prompted many to say we have reached a state of ‘anarcho-tyranny’ (“a system of government that fails to enforce or adjudicate protection to its citizens while simultaneously persecuting innocent conduct”). For example, a Just Stop Oil ‘protest’ is given special treatment by the police, while the working man trying to move them out of his way gets tackled to the ground, and the sane person looks on with a pure and absolutely justified rage.

Khan’s campaign creates a similar feeling of disgust deep in the gut. Not for the alleged villain of the piece, but for Khan himself, and the entire mindset behind the misguided project.

Most men are not criminals, and would never dream of hurting a woman, despite their perfectly healthy male banter. Yet Khan’s campaign tells men they are inherently evil, and must be kept strictly in line by fake friends turned informants, who piously police one’s every joke. It will achieve absolutely nothing, except further demoralising the population, and wasting what is presumably taxpayers’ money.

While the liberal elite clutch their pearls about Andrew Tate, pathetic nonsense like the ‘Maaate’ campaign only makes Tate grow stronger. Any young man watching Khan’s ultra-cringe video will have an overwhelming urge to go out and buy a Bugatti, whilst smoking a large cigar and theorising about the ‘Matrix’.

Anything to avoid the creepy, Soviet, emasculating dystopia promulgated by London’s worst ever mayor.