Matt Hancock to Eat Kangaroo Testicles on Live TV in Effort to Rehabilitate Himself
Former Health Secretary Matt Hancock has had the Conservative whip removed following reports that he is set to appear on I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here! the Telegraph has more.
News that the former health secretary had lost the whip followed shortly after reports announced he would appear on the reality TV show.
Simon Hart, the Chief Whip, said: “Following a conversation with Matt Hancock, I have considered the situation and believe this is a matter serious enough to warrant suspension of the whip with immediate effect”
A political ally of Mr Hancock’s defended his decision to appear on the show, saying: “I’m A Celeb is the most watched show on TV. Matt doesn’t expect to serve in Government again, so it’s an incredible opportunity for him to engage with the 12 million Brits who tune in every single night.
“Matt has told the whips in Parliament and he will use his time in the jungle to promote his dyslexia campaign.”
The ally said that Hancock had an “excellent team” working with him in his constituency of West Suffolk but that producers of the show had agreed he could communicate with them on urgent matters.
“Matt has always believed in communicating directly with the people he represents – whether that’s getting out and pounding the streets in West Suffolk, through all sorts of media or via those press conferences,” the ally added.
“There are many ways to do the job of being an MP. Whether he’s in camp for one-day or three weeks, there are very few places people will be able to see a politician as they really are. Where better to show the human side of those who make these decisions than with the most watched programme on TV?
“Politicians like Matt must go to where the people are – particularly those who are politically disengaged. Matt’s of the view that we must embrace popular culture. Rather than looking down on reality TV, we should see it for what it is – a powerful tool to get our message heard by younger generations.
“Matt will be making a donation to St Nicholas Hospice in Suffolk, and he will, of course, declare the amount he receives from the show to Parliament to ensure complete transparency, as normal.”
“When he was first approached to take part – while he was flattered and naturally curious – it didn’t take him too long to turn the opportunity down because of the instability government was facing at the time. Now though, the government is stable. Rishi Sunak has made a great start and the whole of the Conservative party is united behind him. Rishi has a big majority, so he can get his agenda through Parliament.”
Worth reading in full.
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Hasn’t Australia suffered enough? How about a bit of role reversal with the kangaroo?
As a proud Aussie, I believe I speak on behalf of all self respecting kangaroos in being offended at the prospect of role reversal here! A Tasmanian Devil may be a better option!
I think he should only be allowed to participate if he’s been triple boosted.
i love this sort of thing.
It just shows so clearly that these people don’t run anything, don’t represent anything, don’t have any real value to ordinary people.
Their sole purpose is to act as high priests that have enough sway with the masses to sell them the instructions they receive from the small but powerful interest groups that are their real bosses.
That is what “engaging with the 12 million Brits” means. It means somehow trying to appeal to enough people so that he can be recycled and used as some sort of political priest for some future cause.
Great stuff. Keep going Matt. You’re doing a brilliant job of showing everybody what the game is.
Matt doing his best to showcase that MPs are first in line for replacement by AI.
Who gives a f?
All a distraction.
Oh well. Bollocks in. Bollocks out.
Australia wouldn’t let in the finest tennis player of all time, but this deceitful lying would be Nazi gets in no questions asked. Clown world.
He doesn’t photograph well, does he?
The expression is – “he’s a bit of a sinner.”
Or, “somebody only a mother could love.”
He should be made to eat his own.
Give his previous, I think you are being a touch over reasonable.
In a fair and just world, Hancock would be forced to eat 18 million pounds worth of Covid testing vials on live TV to make up for the tax payers money he embezzled through his pub landlord mate. Then he would be sent to prison.
Perhaps they can find a kangaroo to eat his testicles..?
£350K! That’s what he’s being paid!
The big challenge should be to make him take a real Pfizer jab live on air!
He’s not invited as a ‘celebrity’ contestant – he’s on the menu, taking the place of all the slimy, scuttling creatures and body parts of dead animals.
Ladies and gentlemen, I’d just like to say I hope our former health secretary doesn’t come BOUNCING back!
How ironic that he is set to appear on reality TV. Because so much of his televised press conference propaganda could be called “unreality TV”!
Think fairy-tale case rates, the elderly and vulnerable cohort being jabbed as our gateway to “freedom”, and his onion-eyes fake performance on live TV as the first holy elixir potion went out. I could have told him to go and eat kangaroo b*****ks!
Finally a task he’s absolutely qualified for! He should have followed is true vocation much earlier, though.
Midazolam Mat – guilty of heaven knows how many deaths is now to be served up on television. They do like to rub our noses in it don’t they?
Perhaps revise the cover of his “book”
I guess even the organisers of Strictly despise him.
This man is all about self-promotion. His constituents should de-select him and consign him to the ashes of political life.
“Profanity and abuse will be removed and may lead to a permanent ban.”
I can’t type anything about Hancock without risking a ban.
This guy’s problem, other than being an aching narcissist, is that he simply can’t accept backbench MP is as good as it gets for him. Self-awareness doesn’t get much more lacking than this.
That this man has not been asked to stand down/deselected as MP for West Suffolk by his Conservative Association officers and members suggests to me that they too should be force fed Kangaroo testicles. Their inaction is yet more confirmation that this wretched Party is rotten to its very core.
This is the prat that rubished the Great Barrington Declaration in parliament and implemented laws that caused deaths and loss of personal freedoms and other major health issue to many people. Removal of the Tory whip is the most minor thing he deserves. Rather than being forced to eat kangoroo testicals there are much worse things that should happen to him.